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Being the only male I liked to get there early and choose my seat. This was not a strategic place to observe eye candy but more of a defensive position.At 52yrs old I was the third youngest in the class and if I did not get my protected position I would end up surrounded by single ladies of indeterminable age who seemed to have things on their mind that had little to do with creative writing.All that aside this particular Thursday afternoon Teacher had a real humdinger for us. Once we had all settled she announced, "Today we will compose a list and you will write a story using the entire list or as many of the items as you can fit in". She of course didn't tell us the worst until the lesson was finishing.To start things off teacher stood by the blackboard and looked at all twelve of us one at a time finally settling on me. I was expecting this, she had a habit of asking me to start things off. It came with the territory I think, of being the only 'rose among the thorns' so to speak.. It wasn’t ever you I didn’t trust. It was always me, always thinking that I didn’t deserve you, that you should leave me ... I never stopped to think about whether you would.” I played with the material of my skirt, looking for something to occupy my hands. “I blamed myself – for the miscarriage, for Faren ... and I felt like you deserved better. And then when you wouldn’t touch me, I thought ... maybe you’d finally realised it. I’ve heard of men who were disgusted by seeing their wives give birth, who couldn’t get over it, and Maker, I bled all over your sodding lap! If that isn’t gross, I don’t know what is. And I didn’t want you to have to live the rest of your life with someone you couldn’t have sex with.”He sighed, and sat up, swinging his legs down to the floor and scooting over a little, making space on the couch. “You’re not the only one who had a terror demon messing with their emotions. It told me ... well, it doesn’t even matter. All I wanted was clearance from Anders that.
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